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O ne definition of the word beard is found mostly in slang dictionaries, though the New Oxford Dictionary of English added the alternative definition a few years ago. The term also applies to a man who does the same for a lesbian woman.

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Current chatter at ABC. Cruise has long denied he is gay, but the rumors persist that Cruise dates and marries beautiful women, these so-called beards, to quash speculation about his sexual orientation. A subtext to the Jim West story is the fact that West, who acknowledges he is a gay man, has also dated women, and married one. I know some of these women. This beard phenomenon is nothing new. His true sexual orientation was purportedly about to be exposed, and the sudden wedding stopped the rumors. The couple had sex, but Gates knew something was missing in the intimacy department.

The marriage broke up after a couple of years. McGreevey, as he announced his reation as governor of New Jersey. Last August, he finally admitted to living a double life.

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The surface life included the beautiful wife. The secret life involved gay relationships. In a photo taken the day of the announcement, Dina McGreevey has perfect blond hair and a gentle smile. But her eyes, cast downward, hold a thousand sorrows. My collaborators and I interviewed dozens of couples about their long-term marriages. We learned that marriages are as unique as the individuals in them. We also learned that the daily practice of marriage — especially sticking together through the tough days — offers people a unique opportunity to mature.

Women in our culture fought long and hard to become equal partners with husbands in matters of finances, sexuality, household chores and child-rearing tasks.

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They fought to be treated as human beings, not property. It compartmentalizes a relationship in an oppressive way, even if the woman chooses it knowingly and benefits through financial support, social prestige or respite from loneliness.

Spiritual writer M. Society has extracted great costs from women and men who openly live their gay and lesbian reality. This has allowed the beard phenomenon to prosper, covering up the fact that some men commit to men, and some women commit to women, and these relationships can be as strong and fulfilling as the best conventional marriages. Being a beard forces a woman to live a lie.

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This lie has the potential to hurt many others, including children, in-laws and friends. It also lets society off the hook. Give directly to The Spokesman-Review's Northwest Passages community forums series -- which helps to offset the costs of several reporter and editor positions at the newspaper -- by using the easy options below. Gifts processed in this system are not tax deductible, but are predominately used to help meet the local financial requirements needed to receive national matching-grant funds.

If you suffer from t pain, you know how it can greatly affect the quality of your life. The Spokesman-Review Newspaper Local journalism is essential. up. Top stories in Spokane.

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